How to Look Forward to Your Next Conflict
Mining for Benefits in Clashes
For most people, conflicts suck.
Whether it’s with your spouse, your friends, co-founder, or team, conflicts are usually highly uncomfortable and have the potential to break things. Sometimes forever.
That’s why many of us shy away from actions that might trigger conflict.
Today, I’ll give you two reasons to turn your next conflict into gold.
Reason 1: Avoiding Conflict Doesn’t Make the Issue Disappear
Often it does the opposite: The issues keep lingering beneath the surface, where they create more tension and unresolved issues. Addressing conflict head-on brings hidden problems to light, paving the way for clarity, better solutions, and stronger relationships.
Example: A team avoiding a conversation about missed deadlines ends up burned out. A direct talk could reveal unclear priorities and lead to better processes.
Golden Insight: Avoidance delays progress—early action prevents bigger issues.
Action Step: In your next conflict, ask: What underlying problem is this revealing, and what can we do to address it together?
Reason 2: Conflict Holds Up a Mirror
Every conflict is a mirror. It reflects aspects of yourself that you might have missed. It reveals your triggers, your patterns, and your emotional responses.
Example: If you find yourself shutting down during arguments, it might reveal a discomfort with vulnerability or fear of confrontation that holds you back in many areas of your life.
Golden Insight: By becoming more aware of how you react, you gain a deeper understanding of your emotional patterns and can working through them.
Action Step: Pay attention to your most common conflict style. Are you avoidant? Combative? Collaborative? Developing this awareness will help you choose a more effective response next time. (Further Reading: Search for 5 Conflict Styles)
The Golden Takeaway
The question isn’t if conflict will happen—it’s how you’ll respond when it does. Will you let it defeat you, or will you turn it into gold?
So, here’s the challenge: Look forward to your next conflict. See it as an opportunity address something that is broken, to learn more about yourself, and to strengthen your relationships.
Conflicts can be powerful teachers. Let’s make the next one count.